Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
this hospital has no fireball
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We are all done wearing pants today
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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