when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
