I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
