I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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