A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
