So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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