I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
