Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
