I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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