shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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