11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
