Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've blown a few things in my day
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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