Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
