I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
