it wasn't lemon gatorade
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
