I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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