I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
