So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Less talking, more tequila
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
