How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
