he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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