Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
