Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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