so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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