i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
