Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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