I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
