I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize