dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize