Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
are you so shy because you have an std?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
