I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
