oh god the rape fog is back!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
