just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
