Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
