I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
