U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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