last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
no. you can't hotbox the world.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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