the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize