This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
