babies were throwing up all over the place
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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