I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
