If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize