my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
