You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
