You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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