don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
