Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
