help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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