i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
