when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
