What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
