I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
