Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
