I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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