I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
