After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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