You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
