so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
