A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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