Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
