it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
either way he was missing a nipple.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
