That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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