And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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