I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
