Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
