Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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