Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
